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I must be honest: I truly needed those nursing homes. My body was broken. Surgery left me stuck in a wheelchair. I could not stand up without help. Walking seemed like a miracle. Staff assisted me with all basic tasks. They bathed me. They dressed me. They gave me meals I barely ate. They changed the sheets and helped me move. This prevented bed sores. I would have failed without their care. They helped me reach independence, or something close to it. They met their goal. But they also took what I valued most. They stole my freedom to act on my own.
No one chooses total dependence. We used to do simple things without a thought. I cooked my eggs just right, sunny-side up on toast. I showered alone in peace. Hot water washed away all my stress. Pulling on pants or tying shoes took seconds. Now imagine needing a stranger's hands for these steps. I stared at the wall. I fought hard not to cry. That loss of control destroys your spirit. This struggle is very common. Health reports show many people face this trap. Over a million Americans live in nursing homes yearly. Specialists agree that losing daily choices hurts. It causes deep pain, even while the body heals. I felt that harsh truth deep inside me.
Doctors finally said I was ready to leave. Joy flooded my whole body. I quickly packed my few items. I rolled right out the door. Freedom was waiting. I quickly learned that change is complex. My new center buzzed with other residents. Some used walkers. Others talked over coffee. I got my own space here. It is a small room with a private bathroom. Yet doubts quickly found me. Mornings felt quiet and lonely. I missed the constant sound of nurses. Simple choices, like getting dressed, felt huge at first. Could I actually shower by myself? These worries spun in my head. For weeks, I thought maybe I left too fast. Leaving that safe support system shook me up. But the need for independence held me. It pushed me to adapt slowly. And I truly did adapt.
The first few months were very hard. Two years of dependence made self-care scary. I did everything alone and unchecked. But I slowly found my confidence. I felt strong enough to change my aids. I graduated from the Rollator to a standard cane. I still use that cane today. It makes a huge difference not pushing a cart with four wheels. My disposition improved greatly. But now I worry that all that strength is fading.
This physical decline worries me deeply. I dread needing that Rollator again. That wheeled walker has brakes and a seat. Or maybe I will need a basic four-legged walker. Either tool marks a turning point. It signals my final loss of freedom. These aids take away simple choices. They push me toward full reliance on help. Many people my age face this decline. Studies show most people over seventy-five need mobility tools. Knowing that fact does not make the fear easier. It just shows me how priceless my solo moments truly are.
I cannot guess where this road ends. But one thing is certain: Old age offers no repair. The body’s power to heal lessens every year. It fades out until nothing can return. I know this for sure: dying scares me less than the journey there….bwc
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For your information...
As part of this blog’s effort to inform as well as entertain, I would like to direct you to a PDF document which explains in detail what exactly an Assisted Living Facility is, what it does, the kinds of different facilities are available, who funds such facilities and the regulations governing such facilities.
While this document pertains mainly to the current regulations in N.Y. State, most areas of the country have similar definitions and regulations governing Assisted Living Facilities.
I urge anyone who is contemplating a move to an ALF for themselves or a loved one to look over this document as a way of better understanding what choices may be available to you.
Here’s the link>> https://aging.ny.gov/livableny/ResourceManual/Housing/III1t.pdf
After this week we will save this in the Residents Bill of Rights section accessible at the top of this page.
Publications Available for Westchester County Seniors
These publications have been prepared by the Department of Senior Programs and Services to acquaint you with the wealth of services and benefits available to you as a senior citizen in Westchester. Senior citizens can learn how to save money, find housing, get help with minor home repairs, get answers about elder law and more. Other publications and studies are provided to assist the caregiver, senior citizen, or any member of the household with taking care of the elderly.
Many of our publications are available in Spanish.
Living Well
Brochure describes the Living Well program, where workshops help seniors learn how to better deal with chronic conditions such as arthritis, pain, high blood pressure and diabetes to enhance their quality of life.
Directory of Services, Rights and Benefits
This booklet has been prepared to acquaint you with the wealth of services and benefits available to you as a senior citizen in Westchester. All the services are listed alphabetically to make it easy to browse topics.
Financial Benefits and Savings Guide For Senior Citizens
Your guide to saving money on utility/heating, prescriptions, medicare costs, rent, property taxes, and minor home repairs. Includes a useful directory of phone numbers.
Benefits Checkup
Click the headline above for a Benefits CheckUp brochure to learn about benefits for people aged 55 and over and younger people with Medicare. Then go to the Web site and complete a questionnaire.
A Guide for Caregivers: What You Need to Know
A booklet filled with practical how-to advice for the caregiver.
A Guide for Caregivers: Respite Services and Support Groups
A guide to respite services and caregiver support groups in Westchester County to assist the caregiver of an older adult.
At the Crossroads
Westchester County Directory of Residential and Health Care Facility options. Includes adult homes, assisted living, enriched housing and retirement residences.
Elder Law Q & A
Have questions about estate and financial planning, health care planning or elder abuse? If so, the 2014 edition of the Elder Law Q&A: An Introduction to Aging Issues and Planning for the Future offers answers. This guide is also available in Spanish.
Growing Older…Who Do You Trust?
Learn how to plan for a safe and secure future. Basic money management for older adults.
Guide to Westchester Senior Housing Sites
Things to know such as key parts of the Real Property Law of the State of New York as well as the federal Section 8 Housing Choice Voucher Program and how to apply. It also includes some general tips and important questions to ask before you sign a lease.
More on the website...http://seniorcitizens.westchestergov.com/senior-programs-and-services/publications
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Resident's Bill of Rights
The New York State Department of Health supervises adult care homes (residential care facilities for adults) throughout the state. Here are the Patient Bill of Rights for your review.
1. You have the right to receive courteous, fair and respectful care and treatment, and not be physically, verbally, or emotionally abused or neglected in any manner.
2. You have the right to exercise your civil and religious liberties, including the right to make personal decisions, and to rely on The Center's staff in exercising these liberties.
3. You have the right to private written and verbal communications or visits with anyone of your choice, or to deny or end such communications or visits.
4. You have the right to receive and send mail or any correspondence unopened and without interception or interference by the staff or Operator of The Center.
5. You have the right to manage your own financial affairs. However, you may authorize the staff of the home to administer your money or personal property. Such authorization must be in writing and agreed to by you and your designee. All transactions involving your money or personal property must be accounted for in your financial record maintained by The Center. You are entitled to a quarterly accounting of any financial transactions you authorize the staff or operator of The Center the home to perform on your behalf.
6. You have the right to have your personal, social, financial and medical records kept in confidence.
7. You have the right, if you are a resident of a Private Proprietary Home for Adults, to receive a written statement of the customary services that the home will provide you and any additional services which will be provided if you need them. Your Admission Agreement must include a written statement of all your monthly fees and expenses. No fees in excess of those stated in your Admission Agreement can be charged you without your approval unless you are advised 30 days in advance or if the additional fee charged is to cover emergency services.
8. You have the right to end your admission agreement, subject to the conditions for notice established in your Admission Agreement.
9. You have the right to a written statement from The Facility 30 days prior to transfer or termination of your Admission Agreement.
10. You have the right to present grievances or recommendations on behalf of yourself or others. These may be presented, without fear or reprisal or punishment to The Center's staff or operator, to government officials or to any other person.
11. You have the right to join within or outside of The Center to work for improvements in care.
12. You have the right to have privacy in treatment and care for personal needs.
13. You have the right to keep possessions as space allows and to be assured of security for any personal possessions stored by The Facility.
14. You have the right to receive compensation for services you perform for The Center or the staff.
15. You have the right to not be coerced or required to perform the work of staff members or contractual work.
16. You have the right to receive a copy of the final report of the most recent inspection performed by New York State Department of Health.
17. You have the right, if you are a recipient of Supplemental Security (SSI) or Home Relief, to receive a monthly personal allowance to buy items which are not ordinarily provided by the home.
18. You have the right to a statement of the rules of The Center and an explanation of your responsibility to obey all reasonable rules.
19. You have the right to have your version of the events leading to an accident or incident recorded on The Bristal’s accident or incident report.
20. You have the right to object if The Center terminates your Admission Agreement against your will.
21. You have the right to at least 30 days advance notice of any change in the facility’s rate or charges for supplemental services.
22. You have the right to organize and maintain a Resident Council.
23. You have the right to privacy in your room, subject to access by facility staff.
24. You have the right not to be physically restrained nor locked in your room at any time.
25. You have the right to leave and return to the facility grounds at reasonable hours.
26. You are not required to give any gratuity (i.e., tip or gift) in any form for services provided or arranged for in accordance with law or regulations. In addition, staff of The Center may not accept any gratuity (tips or gifts).
Here are some other links you may like...
The N.Y. State Dept. of Health has a list of important phone numbers as to where to get help and information in regards to assisted living facilities.
Here is the link ....
http://www.health.ny.gov/health_care/managed_care/contact/helplines.htm
More Resources for Seniors
Find local Eldercare services
http://www.eldercare.gov/Eldercare.NET/Public/Index.aspx
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Read the report here...